The story...

It was easy, now that I look back, and I smiled and played well.  He waved me down and I rolled down the window and asked if everything was alright with my car.  He smiled (he was pretty good looking-like a black George Clooney) and corrected me.  He “just couldn’t let a beautiful woman pass him by”.  Nice.  I “noticed” he worked for Delta and he talked about what he did there and then asked if I was interested in getting together sometime.

Side note:  I’ve got to put together a section about aggressiveness and men.  Sometimes it is so sexy, sometimes a bit scary…

Anyway, exchanged phone numbers via my card and went on my happy little way to the mall (which turned out to be a bust – I’d met my quota already).  He called later that day and we chatted and decided to do the coffee shop/bookstore thing to get to know each other. 

He was decent enough in the beginning.  Being around my age, he didn’t mince words too much.  He’d been married and had children and just cut to the chase.  He wanted a girlfriend, maybe wife, because that was what he was used to.  I told him my plan and he seemed hesitant.  But then a few days later he called and asked me to a movie.  He liked to call every day (which I asked him not to and he seemed to get offended about) but we eventually went to see a popular action flick and everything seemed like it would go well. 

Here’s the craziness that ensued in a nutshell because I’m fairly positive every woman has gone through something similar with a schizophrenic man:

• Meet at the movies – he walks ahead of me like he’s Muslim
• Can’t decide where to sit and when I pick, doesn’t like it.  We play musical chairs as the previews come on
• Doesn’t say much until the movie starts, then tries to hold regular conversation (not even about the movie)
• After the movie’s over, walks out ahead of me.
• I catch up with him in the parking lot “My car’s over there” I say, pointing in the opposite direction.

Ok.  Here’s where it gets even weirder.  I’d already decided this was a no-go but at my car, he turns to me and says: “Well, I like you but I’m not gonna chase you.”  I give him a hug, tell him thank-you for the movie and promise to call him later (not) and we part ways. 

My ’comic book nerd’ kicks in in the car and I realize I don’t know if he’s former Black Ops or retired psychopath so I decide to drive around downtown in case he follows me.  He does the next best thing.  He calls me.  After my “Hello?”, I say nothing for 20 straight minutes (I looked at the clock) while he rants and raves about how I’m distant and won’t let him in.  He wanted to hold me in the movies (it was a Jason Statham flick not Steel Magnolias) but apparently I wouldn’t let him (didn’t know), I won’t open up to him and seem stand-offish.  Buddy, this is technically our first date!  Can I get to know you first before I promise to have your babies?  He went on and on about the things he saw that were wrong with me and then asked me if I was going to say anything.  I asked if I was allowed to talk and he said yes.  I mentioned that I had no idea where any of this was coming from and he launched into what he thought of today’s modern woman.  Finally, he said “If you don’t want to be with me, just tell me!  I can take it!”  I said: “I don’t think I want to be with you.” Dryly and bewildered.  “Why not!?” came the reply.  I sighed.  I’m pretty good at diffusing drama and emotion – I have a very volatile mother.  “Well, it seems like I’m a different kind of woman that you’re used to and perhaps…” this sentence just induced another 10 minutes of unintelligible banter about how the sexes get along.  Finally, after he seemed to have said all he wanted to, I decided that perhaps it wasn’t in my best interests to try to get him to see my point of view.  I said: “Well, how about this?  If you’re ever doing something fun, why don’t you give me a call and we can go have fun together?”  He agreed that sounded like a good idea after a long night and hung up.

I was blown away and a bit shaken.  I had to call one of my GF’s to talk me down and get me home because I was just out of it.  Never have I been yelled at by a man – not my husband, not my Daddy but this guy did it without provocation and motive.  And he didn’t make a bit of sense.  It scared me and I thought it might be best to abandon the entire experiment.  That is until an old acquaintance showed up….

A Side Note...

Ok, this is completely off the cuff and has not been reviewed or rewritten (by me)....it's 1:57 on a Sunday morning and I've had the best BF revisited day so far.  The only boys in the yard at this time are (not really) BF#1 and Season Finale BF#6 who is on the severe rebound  from a bad break with a married woman.  So today was a bit awesome in that I don't regularly converse with any of the BFs (even #1 has gotten sparse as reality has set it).  But BF#1 promised me a new radio years (4 months) ago and came through with flying colors today (woohoo! sound is awesome in my mini car!) even though it took him 2.5 hourse instead of 20 minutes.  ("You have nothing to apologize for, sweetie" when I said I was sorry my car was making him late) - love it.  Season Finale has been calling and since I am technically still "A Friend", I get to hear all the gory details of the break, which doesn't bother me - I'm in chill mode so its fun.  8:30pm I get a call and its "Please tell me you're not busy tonight.  Wanna do something? I don't care what."  and I'm out on the town in a 2010 BMW with a cool guy.  Cafe Intermezzo and a walking tour of Atlantic Station later...

BF #2 - The Grenade (and not the Bruno Mars song kind of grenade - the actual grenade)

Technically, he was not my second boyfriend. BF # 3 was but since he was a holdover from a previous experiment, he didn’t really qualify as second.  BF#2 came in second because BF#4 dropped the ball and on the rebound of not finding myself with just one love interest (and a developing one at that), I went shopping for someone else.  (It will all make sense later.)

I’d decided to try somewhere different that day.  My cozy/safe places were the coffee shop and the bookstore but I was feeling very cute and confident and it was pretty outside and I needed clothes, so I settled on seeing what I could find at the mall.  It was a stretch for me – the last time I’d been to the mall was when my mother had come up for vacation two years previously.  I hated it mostly because I didn’t care to shop for clothes and secondly, it was a haven for children in their last stages before adulthood.

Fortunately, before I could come to my senses and abort my plan, I had to get gas.  The gas station can always be a quick check to see if you’re as sexy as you think you are.  Sure enough, as I got out of the car, a guy in beat up Honda was coming back to his car from paying inside.  Paying inside meant he only had cash and his beat up Honda said to me that he didn’t have much of that but he was built like a basketball star and I like them tall.  He was probably married with 5 kids but I just needed to know if my game face was on.  It was.  He locked eyes with me and got into his car and drove slowly by.  I smiled to myself.

Next up, a not so “family” van pulled up next to me and a guy jumped out to pump his gas.  By that time, my confidence was at full capacity and I got in the car to go bring the rain at the mall. 

But something caught my eye.  A “Delta” badge on the guys overalls he was wearing and I went into stalker mode.  I’m a Delta junkie, or any airline for that matter.  I like to travel and I’ve used the precious and rare “Buddy Passes” in the past and they are highly coveted since I don’t actually have any family that works for an airline.  He literally tripped over his overalls (which he was removing, since he’d just gotten off work) trying to catch me before I drove off.  I wasn’t gonna drive off…

A Side Note...

Sometimes (well a lot, when I listen) I come across some wisdom from people that you would never think had it like you.  I was home sick last Friday and had to watch TV (the only time I do) which means I was at the mercy of whatever was being broadcast.  Fortunately, there's RTV (Retro Television) and an old episode of Voyagers! was on where Phineas Bogg and Jeffrey were on the Titanic with Molly Brown.  Later, I looked up the life of the "Unsinkable Molly Brown" who's name was actually Margaret. She had an interesting life. Grew up poor but seemed a little more in tune with life as we know it than most people you read about from that time.  What got me though, was what she said about her choice and mindset behind getting married in 1854.  It was profound.  Here's what she said:

"I wanted a rich man, but I loved Jim Brown. I thought about how I wanted comfort for my father and how I had determined to stay single until a man presented himself who could give to the tired old man the things I longed for him. Jim was as poor as we were, and had no better chance in life. I struggled hard with myself in those days. I loved Jim, but he was poor. Finally, I decided that I'd be better off with a poor man whom I loved than with a wealthy one whose money had attracted me. So I married Jim Brown."

Now, of course, this is from wikipedia (who you're not supposed to trust but I do sometimes and in this particular instance).  But the fact that she "struggled hard with" herself in 1854 - a time where you figured women didn't have much say so or opinion about their choices to build a life with someone.  I assumed it would be a no-brainer.  But she felt like most women today when you have a choice between someone you like/love and what you want out of life.  They had a good life together, it seems.  It turned out that he made mega-bucks eventually so I'm sure she was glad she loved him first.

Just thought I'd throw that out there.  Sometimes we hold off really loving someone because we think we can do better.  I guess it can work out for the best if you just jump in too.