The story...

It was easy, now that I look back, and I smiled and played well.  He waved me down and I rolled down the window and asked if everything was alright with my car.  He smiled (he was pretty good looking-like a black George Clooney) and corrected me.  He “just couldn’t let a beautiful woman pass him by”.  Nice.  I “noticed” he worked for Delta and he talked about what he did there and then asked if I was interested in getting together sometime.

Side note:  I’ve got to put together a section about aggressiveness and men.  Sometimes it is so sexy, sometimes a bit scary…

Anyway, exchanged phone numbers via my card and went on my happy little way to the mall (which turned out to be a bust – I’d met my quota already).  He called later that day and we chatted and decided to do the coffee shop/bookstore thing to get to know each other. 

He was decent enough in the beginning.  Being around my age, he didn’t mince words too much.  He’d been married and had children and just cut to the chase.  He wanted a girlfriend, maybe wife, because that was what he was used to.  I told him my plan and he seemed hesitant.  But then a few days later he called and asked me to a movie.  He liked to call every day (which I asked him not to and he seemed to get offended about) but we eventually went to see a popular action flick and everything seemed like it would go well. 

Here’s the craziness that ensued in a nutshell because I’m fairly positive every woman has gone through something similar with a schizophrenic man:

• Meet at the movies – he walks ahead of me like he’s Muslim
• Can’t decide where to sit and when I pick, doesn’t like it.  We play musical chairs as the previews come on
• Doesn’t say much until the movie starts, then tries to hold regular conversation (not even about the movie)
• After the movie’s over, walks out ahead of me.
• I catch up with him in the parking lot “My car’s over there” I say, pointing in the opposite direction.

Ok.  Here’s where it gets even weirder.  I’d already decided this was a no-go but at my car, he turns to me and says: “Well, I like you but I’m not gonna chase you.”  I give him a hug, tell him thank-you for the movie and promise to call him later (not) and we part ways. 

My ’comic book nerd’ kicks in in the car and I realize I don’t know if he’s former Black Ops or retired psychopath so I decide to drive around downtown in case he follows me.  He does the next best thing.  He calls me.  After my “Hello?”, I say nothing for 20 straight minutes (I looked at the clock) while he rants and raves about how I’m distant and won’t let him in.  He wanted to hold me in the movies (it was a Jason Statham flick not Steel Magnolias) but apparently I wouldn’t let him (didn’t know), I won’t open up to him and seem stand-offish.  Buddy, this is technically our first date!  Can I get to know you first before I promise to have your babies?  He went on and on about the things he saw that were wrong with me and then asked me if I was going to say anything.  I asked if I was allowed to talk and he said yes.  I mentioned that I had no idea where any of this was coming from and he launched into what he thought of today’s modern woman.  Finally, he said “If you don’t want to be with me, just tell me!  I can take it!”  I said: “I don’t think I want to be with you.” Dryly and bewildered.  “Why not!?” came the reply.  I sighed.  I’m pretty good at diffusing drama and emotion – I have a very volatile mother.  “Well, it seems like I’m a different kind of woman that you’re used to and perhaps…” this sentence just induced another 10 minutes of unintelligible banter about how the sexes get along.  Finally, after he seemed to have said all he wanted to, I decided that perhaps it wasn’t in my best interests to try to get him to see my point of view.  I said: “Well, how about this?  If you’re ever doing something fun, why don’t you give me a call and we can go have fun together?”  He agreed that sounded like a good idea after a long night and hung up.

I was blown away and a bit shaken.  I had to call one of my GF’s to talk me down and get me home because I was just out of it.  Never have I been yelled at by a man – not my husband, not my Daddy but this guy did it without provocation and motive.  And he didn’t make a bit of sense.  It scared me and I thought it might be best to abandon the entire experiment.  That is until an old acquaintance showed up….