Squirrely time...

Well, its official.  The yard is officially cleaned out.  Both BF#7 and BF#1 are on the outs and I feel quite myself again in the world.  I was doing really well, calling up my girls, hanging out and gabbing up the night.  I started drawing again and have two new projects I'm working on .  I am "Single Woman" - hear me roar!

Until yesterday...

Loneliness never announces its showing up.  You open your door, birds singing, butterflies everywhere, sun shining, and its sitting next to your car, like a homeless man who knows where you live.  I controlled my thoughts and it went away, until I went to Ikea and saw way too many people holding hands and shopping for cheap furniture together.  I walked out feeling like I hadn't achieved even what the four gay men I saw choosing kitchen faucets had achieved - I had noone in the world to laugh at my corny comments and go shopping on a Thursday night with.  I still wasn't moved enough to try to change my situation but went to the music store (working on a new project) and that wasn't a good experience either.  Feeling forlorn, fat, and rejected, I headed to the gas station to get gas before I went to the mother of all couple havens - the grocery store. 

He was getting gas on the other side of the pump but I was sinking deeper into my haze so I didn't even look at him until he got in his 2011 Sage colored Dodge Charger.  It sounded like a man when he cranked it up.  I looked at the driver - clean cut, older, reasonable looking.  He said hi, I said hi.  He said hi again and I smirked, said hello.  He asked how I was and I said good, as I reached for the window squeegee.  He said hello again and the guy behind him honked.  "I think they want gas." I said and headed back to my car smiling.  He pulled in front of it.  "Do you mind if I get your number?  I sure would like to call you later." he said, looking way more excited than a grown man should look. "For what?" was on my lips but then I caught a glimpse of that homeless man sitting next to my car and I said, "Um, ok."  I stopped a few feet away from his car.  "Wait.  Are you married?" He smiled - "No."  I wasn't sure.  "Are you sure you're not married, separated, in a relationship, on the down low, any of the above?"  He laughed and held his hands up to show no ring on either hand.  "I am not any of the above." I moved closer, then stopped.  "Do you have a ton of children, a few baby-mama's in the area, what?"  He smiled again.  "I do have children but they live out of town." 

Needless to say, the yard's gate is broken.  Somehow boys keep wandering in. Same thing happened at Wal-Mart yesterday.  I have to fix the gate somehow but finding it hard to pick up the tools to get it done. 

Someone told me that the few last weeks of summer are like the first few weeks of Spring for men.  They get "squirrely" looking for fresh meat and get a little into a frenzy.  This is my first time experiencing that.  It would be great if I was still in the same mindset that I was last December.  I am enjoying the attention though.  I exerting my independence (I went and had dinner at TGIF by my lonesome this evening and sat near the bar - 2 guys kept trying to catch my eye and one even smiled but I am on vacation) and it feels pretty good.  We'll see how long it lasts when it starts getting cold...