Game change...

Ok, boys and girls, the game has apparently changed and I've gone from star player to fumbling idiot.  Much has changed in the last 6 months but I'm sure you're not interested in the minor details.  There's a boy in the yard who won't leave.  He's older than me, conservative, and much too laid back for my taste.  But he has these flaming missiles that never miss. He's been achingly romantic, fatherly stern, Heathcliffly standoffish - all on my Kryptonite list.  I've actually regained some of my superpowers with this one and have played the game well - no regret, no mistakes.  Why, oh why, would he ask me the Achilles heel question today, then?  Honestly, folks, I'm at a severe loss for words and feel like my programming has been thoroughly interrupted. 

Been seeing him for a short while and it's like we've known each other forever.  I don't mean that in a teenager-swoon happiness sort of way, I mean it in the actual "known each other too long" kind of way.  Only thing left on the agenda is to learn each other tell tale signs and facial expressions and to have a real fight.  He pushes me in a mature way I can't seem to mentally negotiate.  He observes me and tells me what he sees.  He supports me and tells me where I need to be stronger.  He looks for support from me but refuses to use me as a crutch.  I hate him.  I have a feeling that I will be caught in his vortex longer than I'd hoped.

He called me six times yesterday but I was watching a movie and had decided to put some distance between us.  He didn't even bring it up today.  Instead, after 3 conversations, he calls and asks me if I would like to marry him in January.  If I won't do that, would I mind moving in with him?  WTH - is you crazy?

This is unprecedented, ya'll.  My record from "hello" to "proposal" is a few months more than this has been going on so this is just weird to me.  He is a man's man - lumberjack, no-cry, heterosexual, forest survivor man.  There's no play with him.  It is what it is.  He didn't want to ask me - he called and told me he wanted to ask me something, then said, "Nevermind.  I won't ask that." several times before I acted like I didn't care enough and he asked.  He was serious. 

I don't know how to deal with a man on a mission that by his track record, he has no problem accomplishing.  I don't want to be married but I miss being someone's - if that makes any sense.  Not that I would marry him but I talked him down to a Jamaica vacation in January that he's very excited about.  Lord, help me...