"Brannigan, Begin Again"...

Not that anyone reads this but I have been through my own personal hell for the past year or so.  Some days it didn't seem as hellish - it seemed kind of normal so I forgot I was still in hell (I'm dense like that) but the next day, it was back to hell.  I went through a bit of therapy for the first time in my life and it was enlightening.  I have plans now, to combat my mighty mind and inclinations...and so far they work perfectly.  Since the only issue I have in life is with relationships, I have my own 12 step program to keep me from feeling less than worthy, haughty, or super-selfish in a protective kind of way.  Today, I had my first real test.  You know when you're in school and they give you those rinky-dink exams the teacher made up all to prepare you for the SAT's - mother of all tests and the only one that will really effect your life?  I had my relationship SAT today.  I know I passed my homemade tests okay (deflected a cougar opportunity with a 6'7" hottie who was 28 - that was hard!) but here was the kicker...a homie I knew way back when I was married, into everything I"m into, but...There are so many "but"s that I can't even go into them...I can't even catagorize them in my brain.  My training is in high gear and I keep hearing this red alert: "You don't even want to be in a relationship" but all my negative traits are doing nothing but stockpiling weapons for a real war.  Seduction, my Inner Cougar, Super Sexy, Butt N Boobs - they read like villain roster and they're just as evil.  They all tried their hand tonight and yet I thwarted their plans.  They will all be back tomorrow, well rested and ready, with Hormonal Horny riding shotgun but I've got to keep this one in the container.  I don't want to end up with just another bad story of a relationship gone bad because I didn't exercise self control or patience.  I don't want to lose a potential great friend because I want to be spoiled, sexed, or cuddled.  I need more than just a plan, I need a fail-proof plan - like Batman when he sits down to think a caper out.  I need to not fail on this one and perhaps it will make me stronger in the future...one can only hope...