I'm falling...

Can you open a blog post with a song?  It's the theme of this post so check out James Blake "The Wilhelm Scream"...I want to write the words but I'd have to listen to it 200 times (I have the memory of a gerbil) but they are very poignant.  "I don't know about my dreams anymore. All I know is that I'm falling. Might as well fall." yeah...there you go.
Now back to my theme...

If you've read any of the other posts before this one, you will know that (1) I didn't do WBFX this year because I was tired, (2) I am presently on "boycation", and (3) I've discovered a horrible fetish that I am working night and day to diminish.  Those things being said, I have to admit a sobering truth - the guys that have been hitting on me lately have not been in the same league as I think I am in.

Case in point: This morning while darting into Kroger for snacks, there was a 70 year old part-time worker cleaning the stainless steel throughout the store.  He looked liked he'd either had a stroke recently or just lived with injuries sustained during the Vietnam War.  Either way, in his stainy Kroger uniform, he felt comfortable asking me if I was married in a sly "Shaft"-like voice. (I lied and declared I was happily married!) As I made my way to the self-checkout line, a young Maxwell wannabe who, now that school was out, manned the self-checkout lanes in the daytime, asked me about my hair.  We chatted about hair as he milled about and soon he was hammering me with questions about my job, where I worked, along with smiles and shrinking personal space.  I got out of Dodge before I was arrested for corrupting a minor.  As you can see just from those two examples (believe me, there are tons more and tons worse), I am apparently not attracting the kind of guy that I think can get along wonderfully with my personality, that can afford to go to the places I like to go, and well - either doesn't have an AARP card or a school ID.  Not that I'm knocking older guys (this time).  They tend to have money and (used to) have the lock on decency and chivalry.  Not that I'm knocking younger guys either.  They have energy, ideas, and are always ready to go when you are.  My issue is the type of person approaching me.  They don't even match what I think I look like.  And generally, I feel they're looking for someone who looks like they care.  I know I wear a "How Can I Help?" look on my face.  It's why I do so well as a hostess of anything. My face must tell men that I will accept anyone's try without making them feel bad for trying.  And most of the time, I will.  I've accepted numbers before because I felt bad about declining to talk to them later.

I need to figure out how to stop this vicious circle.  Well, it's not vicious per se, but I'd like to find a handsome, tall, well rounded guy who's funny, never been to prison, and doesn't believe having sex is like ordering dessert after dinner.

Is that too much to ask?