Side Note: Update on me...

I am taking this moment to share something about me (aside from the boys - or lack thereof lately - yes, I know!)

I mentioned in my last post that I was in physical therapy for a busted hip. That has turned out not to be true.  What is true is that I'm now seeing an Orthopedic doctor for 3 herniated discs and learning to live with constant pain.

First, I refuse to believe I'm old enough to have to deal with such issues but slowly I'm coming to the realization that that is not true.  I have led a pretty whirlwind life (they say this problem may have been caused by my topple from a 10 foot wall during the Warrior Dash two years ago) and it's not like I don't have vivid memories of doing things that were exciting and thoroughly enjoyable. It's the fact that I have to slow down so immediately, deal with conundrums such as how much pain can I endure if I go to the supermarket or if I can make it back from the laundry.  I walk with a crutch because I refuse to get a cane to support myself.  They say my discs may be reabsorbed and not cause me trouble in 6 months or so.  They also say the complete opposite can happen and I end up needing surgery to stop the constant aching down my leg and bring back the feeling in my foot.

I have gone through some intense feelings in the month that this has been my real challenge.  I've been feeling rather alone in my journey and forgot that I have a blog for just this kind of thing.  A place I can get my points out and make myself heard.  I've had to rearrange my life tremendously and depend on family and new friends to get things done.

I was feeling extra sorry for myself today when a friend's, who is extremely positive (almost to an unrealistic degree), comment popped into my head.  I was feeling sorry for myself when I had so much going for myself.  I was not dead.  I was not in so much pain anymore that I couldn't sleep, or eat, or barely breathe.  I was not crying in pain to go to sleep at night.  I have family that is relentless in bringing me dinner, walking my dogs, even doing my laundry and cleaning my house.  I have a boyfriend who has taken the role of my warrior with making sure I'm safe, secure, and without need at all times.  I have pets that although they show out a bit at the change in their schedule, are still being good pets.  I have a belief that someday I really won't have to deal with this injury - it won't even cross my mind.  I have to focus on these things as I wake up each day and groan to get up.  There are people way worse off and they are happy they're alive.

It may take awhile to permanently change my attitude and the readjustments are painful as is dealing with an issue that won't take a break.  I'm working on it, though.  I'm working on it...